The Cost of Beauty
by Ronnie McMullen©

            You have traveled through the many entries in this book, and we are on the final entry of The Journey, but The Journey does not stop here. Whether there are seven more volumes of The Journey, or whether this is the only volume of The Journey ever written, your personal journey will go on. It is important for us to understand and to reflect on our own personal walk, and to monitor whether we are maturing or digressing. I have written The Journey to inspire and to expand the mind to think past the limits of this natural world into a world that we cannot see.

Our eyes are powerful and can see many shapes, sizes, and colors. But in the spiritual realm, the limited sight of our naked eye is blocked. We must expand our thought processes and our consciousness to grow into a capability of reading without sight. This is possible and has been proven in quantum theory. We can assess knowledge and stretch ourselves so far in knowledge and travel full-circle to the simplicity of a child.

The objective of The Journey writings is to enhance our sensitivity to others and be useful to them in their journey. You might use the old phrase: “It’s not what you do, but it’s who you are.” The world does not shine the light on who we are, but casts the spotlight upon us in what we do. This is the perverted sense, and with this road, we will lose our way.

 I will leave you with this last entry and take you down a challenging path…a path that leads to sadness and sorrow for one…and leads to joy and happiness for another. You might say it depends which side of the fence you’re standing on.

 If you learn one sensitive attribute through reading The Journey, then these entries will be called a success. I now take you to the beginning of the end…the cost of beauty. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I find this phrase so true. We as people have attractions to other people. But unfortunately, our attractions lead to an animalistic nature. When we do not look beneath the skin, we will find ourselves questioning our motives of why we did what we did. Sometimes, it will lead to the same answer--the outside shell was the attraction. Sadly, we do not take the time and research what lies within a hardened surface.

Mass media has helped sell the shell of our human body as the worth. But in this story, we will see a side, which the mass media has kept well within their vaults. Truth has a way of presenting itself to those that are looking. This story will hopefully give sight to those that are not looking.

            Derek is a man with integrity and love. We find him always reaching out to his fellow man and trying to do the right thing. His goals are traditional and simple. His friend, Jason, has a different view. Much like a hunter, Jason is always looking for the kill. He is never satisfied, and is quite shallow. In this story, Jason will be transformed and have his eyes opened.

            “God…you’re slow! We’re going to be late.” Jason opened the door to Derek’s ‘73 Chevy pickup. “When you gonna get a new truck, Derek?”

“The day I win the lotto. What do you think? I’m made of money? I live paycheck to paycheck. I didn’t get to squander my family’s inheritance because there was no family inheritance.”     

            “Derek, that’s a low blow! I can’t help that my uncle had money. So he left me seventy thousand…that’s not a large amount of money.”

            “Do you know what I could do, Jason, with seventy grand? I’d find myself a sweet little home, nestled in the woods, and buy my Lucy a place to call home. And I’d save a little bit of money, so I could put up that white picket fence that she’s always wanted. Noooo…you’ve got to go to Vegas for a weekend and lose sixty-seven thousand dollars. I had a hard time Jason…sixty-seven thousand dollars…and yes… it wasn’t my money…but I sure dreamed it was.”

            “Well, it’s like this, Derek…money comes and money goes. What can I say? I had a great weekend…and you should’ve seen the babes I was with!”

            “Let me tell you something, Jason…I know you paid a pretty penny for those so-called babes.”

            “Alright…so I bought a couple of them. It was worth it. Money well invested you might say.”

            “Well…my investment is in my wife, Lucy. She’s everything to me. And maybe she’s not model material, but I think she’s cute as can be. And you know what? She makes me happy. And she loves me and wants to have my kids. Where can you find that in the world?”

            “Listen Derek, you’re too traditional for me. Who the flip wants to have kids? They just tie you down. And yeah, Lucy’s cute…but you ought to see the women I was with! They’d make your heart stop. And let me tell you--they were active girls--if you know what I mean.” Jason winked at Derek.

            “You know, Jason, if I didn’t know you just a little bit better, I would classify you as a wolf.”

            “Like I said…I’m a hunter. I am always on the hunt for a delicious doe, one that I can sink my teeth into. Do I want a long-term relationship? Maybe. But I have to find the right babe. I want her to be the model of models, maybe a lingerie model. That way she brings in the big dinero. All the girls will be jealous of her, and all the guys will be jealous of me. I think that’s cool.”

            “God Jason! Listen to yourself. You’re like a sick virus. You’re whole relationship would be built on jealousy? That’s got to wear you down.”

            “Let me tell you something, Derek. Some of these girls are so physically fit, that they wear me down. It’s not jealousy.”

            “You’re a sick dog, Jason. So, you ready for work?”

            “Yeah, I’m ready for work. Another day…another fifty cents. Maybe my mom will die, and I can get another seventy grand.” Derek looked over at Jason with a very disgusting look. “I’m kidding…I’m kidding! I’m just joking…Geez, lighten up.”

Derek knew that Jason was not being totally truthful. He had sought out a friendship with him because he saw that Jason was weaker inside. He felt that maybe he could be an inspiration and help shape Jason’s morals. But as Derek thought to himself, this was a task that he wasn’t even sure Superman could carry out.

Every day, Derek would pick up Jason because Jason had no car. Yet every time he went on a date, he would rent a fancy sports car and spend a pretty penny on wining and dining his date.

 Derek, on the other hand, was more the simple man. He would go home to his Lucy, and they would talk and play, and enjoy each other’s company. They would discuss their future, and having children, where they wanted to live, and how they wanted to raise their children.

            “Hey honey, I’m home.”

            “Hey baby, how are you? How was your work day?”

            “Oh, it sucked. I’m not sure what sucks more, my work, or that goofball, Jason. Every single day he talks about women, he talks about sex, and he talks about how great he is. And every single day I get sick. Do you think he’s ever going to grow up?”  Lucy just smiled. “He’s a work in progress. You kind of got to love the guy. He’s kind of a moron with a smile. He can be charming, sometimes, for at least three or four seconds.” They both giggled. “He wears me out, Lucy. If I have to listen to his smack anymore…I just want to take the tire iron and thump him over the head to bring some sense to him.”

            “Sweetie, you can thump him with that tire iron, but you won’t bring any sense into him. He’s got a thick skull, and a huge pride problem, followed by the tall, dark, and handsome syndrome, which leads to danger. Jason is shallow. He’s not like my big, handsome, macho, and well-educated husband.”

            “Are you okay, Lucy? You’ve been watching too many of them soap operas.” Derek smiled at his wife with a twinkle in his eye. “If you looked any cuter, Lucy…I’d have to pick you up, hold you in my arms…and kiss you and kiss you and kiss you.”

            “Well… you can do that anyway, dear. I won’t tell!”

The two were inseparable. They both thought the sun rose and set in each other. You might say: a match made in Heaven.

Meanwhile, Jason would go home--and I do mean home--because he lived with his father. His father was in his early sixties and divorced. Kind of a bitter old man who made many wrong choices.

            “Dad, I’m home.”

            “Hey, Jay. How was your day?”

            “Ah, it wasn’t too bad. I think they’re going to promote me.”

            “Jay, you’ve said that about your last seven jobs. I think it’s code for you’re about ready to get fired.”

            “Dad, you suck. Why don’t you go back, and get a beer, and watch your football game?”

            “So, how was your date the other night?”

            “Ah…she was a babe, Dad! I think she’s the best looking girl I’ve ever been out with. She had more curves than Mr. Bubble.”

            “Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have a one track mind.”
            “Well, you might say, Dad, I’m on track. Anyway…the date didn’t work out. She wants to get married someday, and I told her I just want to live together. But she’s got a girlfriend she thinks would really like me. So I might go out this weekend with her best friend.”

            “Are you kidding me, Jay? You went out with a girl, who had some kind of morals, and she wants to give you to her best friend? It kind of tells you who her best friend is.”

            “Dad, she said she was a model. She’s like on the cover of Vogue or something.”

            “Well I don’t care if she’s on the cover of Playboy, it might cost you.”

            “Ah, so you have to pay a little. The rewards are great.”

            “I don’t know, Son. Don’t be like me. I’m not exactly the happiest guy in the world.”

            “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do as I say, not as I do. I know. I’ve heard it.”

Weeks would go by and Jason would continue his shallow relationships. Derek only grew more in love with Lucy. And he was determined not give up on Jason. He continued to strive and to hopefully infuse integrity into Jason’s demeanor.

            “Jason, are you ever going to be on time? Will you get in the damn truck? I’m telling you, I will not be late because of you. You get your butt out here, or I’m leaving. Next time I pull up, and you’re not waiting by the curb, I’m leaving without you!”

            “Geez, Derek, you’re a bit cranky today! Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed? Did Lucy ignore you last night?”

            “Listen Jason, I know you have a one track mind, which always travels through the gutter, but don’t talk about my Lucy like you talk about all of your cheap girlfriends. Because if you continue, I’ll have to take you outside of this truck and teach you a lesson.”

            “Well, I’m positive you woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” Jason knew not to go any further. He did not want to push Derek into anger. He knew he would lose.

            “So Jason, you still going with that Amber girl?”

            “Yeah. I, I think so.”

            “What do you mean you think so?”

            “Well Der, this is different. I mean, she is a top model. I just drool over this girl. She’s physically fit, very active, and…uh…she just dotes on me. She thinks I’m it.”

            “Geez, Jason, sounds like you’re falling in love.”

            “Love? Don’t say that word. That’s a cuss word. That’s taboo in my vocabulary. I like having her around so I can just look at her. And I’ll tell you, sometimes she doesn’t wear too much, so the view is good.”

            “Do you ever talk to your girlfriends, Jason? You know, like a conversation or anything?”

            “We speak the language of love.”

            “I thought you didn’t like that word.”

            “I think the way I use the word is quite different than the way you use the word, Derek.”

            “Well, you’re probably right about that.” Derek was going to have some family and friends over on the weekend and felt strongly to invite Jason and his new girlfriend, Amber. “Hey Jason, I’m going to have a barbeque this weekend and wondered if you wanted to maybe bring Amber?”

 Jason looked over at Derek, completely surprised, almost with a look of awe. “You want me, and my girlfriend, to come over to your house? Really?” Jason smiled and was completely surprised at the offer. “I’d love to, Buddy. That’s really kind of you.”

            “Ah, it’s no problem, you know. We’re…we’re carpool buddies.”

Jason bowed his head almost looking ashamed. “Yeah. Yeah…we’re carpool buddies. I’ll talk to Amber and see if she wants to go.”

            “Yeah, you do that.”

            Friday came, and the barbeque would be on Saturday. “So, did you ever talk to Amber, Jason?”

Jason bowed his head. “Yeah, she’s got a modeling gig. Some new company that’s putting out a line of lingerie wants her to do the modeling.”

            “Oh, I understand. Maybe next time.”

Jason’s face was painted with disappointment. “Well, hopefully next time. But you know I can still come.”

            “You’d want to come without Amber?”

            “Sure. She’ll come next time. Besides, I’ve never really met Lucy. I’ve just seen pictures you know.”

            “Well sure…come on over. Three o’clock.”

Jason looked like he had hope. Almost as if to say life mattered.

 The next day, three o’ clock sharp, Jason knocked on Derek’s door. “Hey, Buddy. My dad dropped me off. Nice little place you got here.”

Lucy walked into the room. “You must be the infamous Jason McCandell.”

            “Yeah, that would be me. I’m sure Derek talks a lot about me.”

            “Oh, yes.” Lucy smiled. “Can I get you something to drink?”

            “Yeah, how about a scotch?”

            “Oh, I’m sorry Jason, we don’t have hard liquor.”

 Jason cleared his throat. “Ah…you got a coke?”

 Lucy smiled, “You bet.”

As she went in the other room, Jason leaned over under his breath and spoke to Derek. “She’s got a cute backside you know.” Derek started to boil. “I mean…you know…uh…you got a nice looking wife.”

            “Thank you,” Derek spoke abruptly.

Jason knew to change the conversation. “So…is that your couch?”

            “No, it’s my neighbors. I thought I would just use it for the weekend. Of course, you idiot, it’s my couch. God, you’re a moron!” Jason just looked embarrassed.

            “Here you go, Jason. Here’s your coke.”

            “Thanks, Lucy. You’re a great hostess.” Lucy smiled into Jason’s eyes, and Jason showed his nervousness.

            “Well, I’m gonna let you guys talk. I’ve got a couple of girlfriends here, and I need to make sure they’re doing okay. I’ll leave you guys alone.”

            “Thanks, baby.”

Jason leaned over to Derek, “You’ve got a real sweet wife. I mean that.” Derek was shocked at Jason’s statement. Derek thought to himself--as if he could know what a nice girl was even like.

Jason stayed for well into the night until his dad picked him up. As he was walking out the door, he shook Derek’s hand. “Thanks Derek, for inviting me. I had a great time, and I hope I didn’t overstay my welcome. You have a real nice family.”

Derek smiled, “It’s just me and Lucy.”

            “Like I said, you have a real nice family. Most people don’t treat me well, Derek. And for what it’s worth, I call you my friend.” Jason put his head down and walked out the door. He left Derek standing with his jaw on the floor.

Derek shut the door, turned around, and there stood Lucy. “You’re doing something to him. It’s not in vain, baby. I’m telling you, he’s gonna come out of this.”

            “Mr. Sex Appeal…come out of this? I’m not sure.”

Lucy then put her arms around Derek shoulders. “All you have to do is believe, babe.” Lucy’s eyes twinkled as she spoke.

            “You know baby, I think you’re right. All I have to do is believe.”

            Months would go by, and three offers came up for Amber to come to dinner or a function with Derek and Lucy. Three times--Amber would not show. Three times--Jason would be saddened by Amber’s behavior and apologize for her not showing up.

            “Morning Jason, this whole standing on the curb thing works pretty good. We haven’t been late once.”

            “It takes a while, but I get it.”

            “So, how’s Amber?” Jason smiled.

            “As gorgeous as ever. I’m just stunned at her beauty.”

            “Yeah, her pictures are pretty impressive. I like the ones with her clothes on a lot better than the ones with her clothes off.”

            “Now see Derek, I like the ones with the clothes off better.”

            “Well for me, there’s something about looking at another man’s girl, naked, that just doesn’t click. But I’m old-fashioned.”

Jason nodded his head. “Yes, you are. You are old-fashioned. But that’s kind of what I like about you. While everybody’s going forward, you’re in reverse.”

 Derek then looked over at Jason. “It’s actually about one’s perspective.”

            “I suppose you’re right. But with a body like Amber’s…why be ashamed?”

            “I didn’t say I was ashamed, Jason. Let’s just drop it. You know Jason, speaking of Amber, I’ve invited you quite a few times, and she never comes. How come?”

            “Well, she’s always got modeling gigs. She’s always in magazines…and she’s supposed to be doing a special on Fox here shortly.”

            “Well, that’s great.”

            “She also said, if we get married, she’s gonna buy me a new Corvette.”

            “Married? I never thought I’d hear that come out of your mouth!”

            “ I never thought I’d get married. But you know, I have the most beautiful woman, and she’s not a burden because she makes more money than I’ll ever make. It makes me think that I have to start getting wise and think about settling down.”

            “Jason, can you just be with one woman? Do you know how to do that? I mean, for me that’s the way of life, but for you, that’s like tying a monkey to a pole.”

            “Well, I’m getting older. You know…I’m…I’m going to be thirty-six here in a couple of months, and she’s twenty-nine. And I just think that…well…with my good looks and hers… I mean…we could be stunning!”

            “I thought you were going to say something about…kids.”

            “Oh, I thought I was too. But truthfully, Derek, that’s your department. If I was going to think about kids, I…I’d probably…well…well…I…you know--if I’m…she’s kind of…I don’t know, it’d be kind of cool with Amber.”

 Once again, Derek’s jaw dropped. Something was happening to Jason. “You love this girl, don’t you?” Derek spoke mockingly.

            “Shut up!”

            “Oh my god! You love her. You actually love her. Oh--”

            “Shut up, I tell you! Just zip it!”

            “Oh my god! Look at how you’re acting. You’re turning red. You… love… Amber. Oh my gosh! I never thought I’d see the day…Dude, I gotta tell everybody at work.”

            “You say anything, Derek, so help me god, I’ll tackle you like high school football.”

            “Oh my god! Look how defensive you are…this is absolutely wonderful!”

            “What are you talking about, Derek?”

            “I was worried about you. I didn’t think you had a soul. I thought you were going to sleep with women, like dogs have dogs. But you are actually contemplating settling down to one woman. Oh my gosh! Did you feel that?”

            “Feel what?”

            “Jason, I think the earth stopped!”

            “You suck, Derek. You flippin suck! Just shut up…Stop!” Derek started laughing till his belly hurt.

Three months later, the news came out. “Good morning, my carpool buddy. How’s Derek?” Jason never asked how Derek was doing. Never.

            “Okay, are you alright? What’s wrong? What happened?”

            “So, how’s Lucy?”

            “First you ask me how I am, then you ask how my wife is. This is completely unlike you. So give it up. Spill the beans. Tip the milk. Get the cookies. What the hell’s wrong with you?”

            “I’m engaged to be married…I’m engaged to be married to Princess Amber.”

            “I’ve been taking you to work for almost a year. You’ve been dating this Amber for months, and all I’ve seen is a picture, well maybe a few, but I haven’t met her. And you’re getting married?”

            “It’s just her schedule, Buddy. She’s busy modeling. It’s like she’s a celebrity. She told me to go look for the Corvette.”

            “So, what are you saying? You’re going to marry her because you want a car?”   

            “No, that’s just one of the bonuses and benefits of marrying a superstar model.”

            “You know, Jason, I’ve heard you talk about her beauty. I’ve heard you talk about her being naked. I’ve heard you talk about her money, but not one time have I ever heard you say that she makes you happy.” Jason went into a blank stare, as if a deer was looking into the headlights of a car. “Jason, are you listening to me? You’ve never told me that she makes you laugh. I’ve never heard of any conversations you’ve ever had. And on top of that…I’ve never met her. If it wasn’t for your naked pictures, I don’t think I’d even know what she looks like.”

Jason bowed his head in shame. “Listen Derek, you’re probably my only friend, and you know I kind of like this gal.”

            “No Jason, you don’t like this gal, you love this gal. But does she love you?”

  Jason looked over at Derek with anger. “Of course she loves me! She wouldn’t marry me if she didn’t love me.”

            “I don’t hear any supporting stories, Jason. I’m tired of listening to your sex stories. I just want to know that she loves you.”

            “Well I think so, Derek.”

            “Jason, you can’t get married with I think so. It won’t last. Listen Jay, I just don’t want you to get hurt. What’s your dad think of this?”

            “My dad says she’s beautiful.”

            “Of course she’s beautiful. I’m asking you what your dad thinks about you getting married.”

            “It’s cool. It’s cool…he says it’s cool. Anyway, we’re going to do it in a couple of months, and I was just kind of wondering if you would maybe…uh…you know…well…be my best man?”  Jason spoke to Derek with his head facing the floor of the truck.

            “Geez Jay, I’d be honored. This is cool, I’m happy for you. Are you happy?”

Jason lifted his head. “You bet. I’m happy.” When he said that, it seemed he was selling himself.

Two months later, Derek and Lucy walked in the little white church, on the corner of Main and Fourth. As they walked into the church, they noticed only a few people were at the wedding. Jason had very little family and very few friends. He came up to them wearing a black tux and his hair was pinned back.

 “You look good, Jason.” Derek said to his friend.

Lucy looked up at Jason. “You look very handsome, Jason.”

Jason looked at Lucy as if he was going to cry. “That’s very kind, Lucy. I know that comes from your heart. Thank you.”  Jason then turned to Derek and smiled, as if not knowing what to say.

Immediately, a beautiful brunette walked over to Derek, Lucy, and Jason. “Is this Derek, honey?”

            “Yeah, baby. This…this is my friend Derek.”

Amber put out her hand-- as if Derek was to kiss it.

Derek reached over and shook her hand. “Pleased to meet you. Jason’s…” Derek paused. “Uh…uh…Jason has said so much about you.”

            “I hope he hasn’t told you how naughty I can be.” Lucy and Derek just looked at each other with amazement. What a terrible comment, they both thought. Jason began to laugh nervously.

            “My Amber’s always being funny. Haha. Honey, you’re going to have to watch your tongue, dear.”

            “Jason, I don’t have to watch anything.” She abruptly walked off because she was miffed.

            “It’s just a stressful day for her. You know what I mean? Anyway, the service is about ready to start. I really thank you for being my best man. It’s really special you know?”

            “Jay, you don’t have to thank me.”

            “Well…well I do. I thank you…a lot! And Lucy…thanks so much. I had no idea that you were a cake decorator. So giving us that cake is really special. I just really…you know, wanted to thank you for that. It’s beautiful.”

  Lucy smiled, “It’s my pleasure.”

They all took their places and the wedding began. The service seemed to be lacking. Derek and Lucy whispered to each other and shared their thoughts that something was missing in this service. Derek even shared with Lucy how he felt something was wrong, and how he was worried for Jason. As Jason said I do and put the ring on Amber’s finger, Derek had a chill. He shared this with Lucy later at the reception and became very concerned. Very few people were at the wedding.

The time came to cut the cake. Amber commented on how beautiful the cake was. “My goodness, what a beautiful cake.”

 Jason looked over at Amber and smiled. “My friend’s wife, Lucy, made it for us.”

Amber began to giggle loudly, “I was going to be a baker once, and then I figured out it didn’t pay.” She giggled some more. “And then I realized, that if I became a baker, I would lose out on the mega-money…because the mega-money is based on sex appeal,” she said as she grabbed her breasts. “And when you’re overweight, and you don’t look like me, you don’t get paid.” Her voice went stern at the end of the sentence.

 Jason’s face spoke volumes. He was humiliated. Lucy was stunned and speechless, and everyone at the wedding knew Amber had no morals and no taste. She giggled some more and painted Jason’s face with cake frosting.

 When the wedding events were over, Derek and Lucy got in their car to leave. After they shut the doors Derek spoke to his wife,     “Was this horror-movie day on Main Street? I mean…can you believe Amber did what she did? It’s like we were at a nightclub versus a wedding. I’m very worried about Jason.” Lucy just looked at Derek and said nothing. “And I can see with your comments, you agree.” Again Lucy said nothing.

Months would go by, and Derek would pick Jason up…and Jason would be quiet. Months would go by, and Jason was not the same man. Something was wrong. Finally, Derek couldn’t take it anymore. “Good morning, how are you, Jay?”

            “I’m good. How about you?”

            “I’m good.”

            “How’s Lucy?”

            “She’s good. Jason, what’s wrong?”

            “Nothing. Why do you ask?”

            “You’re not the same. You used to discuss everything under the sun and now you say nothing. It’s just like you’ve changed.”

            “Well, I’m married now. You don’t talk like that.”

            “Oh, I’m fine with that. I’m not talking… that’s not what I mean. It’s like you’re depressed or something. It’s just not normal for a newlywed.”

            “I’m fine. Thanks for asking.” Jason continued to look down at the floorboard of the truck.

            “So, did you get the Corvette?”

            “Yeah, she told me to go down and pick one out.”

            “Well? Did you?”

            “Nah. It’s just, I don’t know…I don’t know if I want a Corvette.”

            “Wow! I never thought I’d hear Jason McCandall doesn’t want a Corvette. You sure you don’t have some kind of virus or something?” Derek looked over at Jason and saw tears coming down his face.

Jason then looked up at Derek, weeping bitterly. “I’m so sorry, my friend. But I’m so jealous of you. You have everything.”

Derek looked back at Jason. “What are you talking about? You live in a beautiful home. You don’t even need to work now. You can go down and pay cash for a new Corvette. You’re married to a model, who’s on every cover of every glamour magazine. Every guy probably envies you because of your beautiful wife. And you’re unhappy?”

Jason put his head down and stared at the floorboard. “My wife treats me like dirt. She rubs it in that I don’t make any money. She says I’m a terrible lover. And she’s already telling me that she’s sorry she married me. I have never seen Amber look at me the same way that I see Lucy look at you. I know Lucy’s maybe not a top model, but I remember months ago Lucy told me that I was handsome. Please don’t take this wrong, Derek, but it’s like she said it with honesty, and Amber says it with evil intent. I am miserable. And I should’ve listened to you. And because I didn’t, my sins have caught up with me. And I am paying a very extreme payment. I go to bed every night, sleeping on the couch. And if I’m lucky, one night a week I can sleep in my bed with my wife. She doesn’t feel like a wife. But more like a queen…and I am her jester. Quite honestly Derek, and you probably already know this, I never really had much self-esteem. My looks are fair. But in truth, I have no depth. Yet somehow, through you and Lucy, I saw some light and I started to look at myself, and quite honestly, that’s why I even contemplated marriage.” Jason began to weep. “I just wanted to be like you, my friend…and have a real life. I wanted Amber to look at me, like Lucy looks at you. And somehow…deep in my soul, I knew that would never happen. But I lied to myself anyway. Well, here I am…married to the most gorgeous girl, on the cover of every magazine, and I can’t even give her a hug or a kiss without asking. I am a worthless husband, dressed up as a celebrity side-kick. My life has no meaning, and everyone she knows is fake. I’m in a mess, my friend, and I don’t know how to get out. I guess you could say you pay a high cost for beauty.”

            There are many of us that this will speak volumes to. Many of us live shallow lives, and many of us seek deep waters. What the world calls beauty, is only beauty to the eye of the beholder. Not all of us have the same definition of beauty.

 But then again, not all of us want the depths of the sea. For us to truly reach in and know who we are, we need to go fishing in that deep sea. We need to go beyond our capabilities and understandings to see what is within us, and what is in people around us.

There are many people in this life like Amber and Jason. The question is: How many are left who are portrayed like Derek and Lucy?  As we review ourselves…and walk into our bathroom and look into the mirror: Which character do you portray? Which character could you say you’re more like? And when that answer arrives, are you satisfied with the result?

The depth in which we go is the outcome of our spirituality. What path are you on? The path that has many beautiful neon lights…but leads to nowhere? Or the journey that we climb through rocks, thorny bushes, and fallen trees to arrive at a gateway that leads to a heavenly paradise? Which path do you choose? Because it’s all part of The Journey…